Our Last Impression
A documentary style artistic journey about my father, age, life and the memories overlapping in time.
Something beautiful and expressive is being born. Out of the daily routine of taking care of my father with onset dementia at age 92, and his wife who has Alzheimer’s has come serious challenges to my routine and compassion for loved ones. They both need help beyond my capacity. I’m not alone in their support system, but I am the closest to his house and feel as though I’ve been put “on-call” permanently. I tell myself it’s okay, and I’m up for it. This is my Dad and he needs me. Yet I struggle to keep up with the demand. I’m a mess internally in the push and pull between his life and mine. He is still fiercely independent (as ever) and fights external family help. He also has no savings and no insurance. Medicare A is the only coverage and that’s for doctor visits and prescriptions only. Between grocery runs, administering medication, getting him care and general maintenance to his house an lawn, it’s time consuming and frustrating
However, I realized a year into this process that something was starting to spout up from all the new responsibility. I’m entwined with his last moments of personal history. He may not remember my visit and support after a week, but I’m being left with an impression of him I never had as a child. I had new visions coming to me about capturing the sheer gravitational toll 92 years will take on the body, mind and spirit and the relationship that continues to change and evolve through our lives together.
I am 6 months into this project which I deem an artistic documentary of my shared experience with him and the lasting moments I’ll remember well after he is gone. The simple expressive truth in this work is a simple reminder to you and your loved ones, to the one staying and to the one going, what is our last impression in the minds and hearts of each other?
So I started to explore the impressions of my fathers actions, expressions of his memory, internal gravitational pull on his body and health in 2-d forms. After being examined by a doctor after 8 years lapsed and taking ultrasound and x-rays, it has been revealed he has a crushing lower spine, failing eyesight and a serious pulmonary leak. Due to his age and his heart, no operations are really possible. We are at the mercy of time.
From the early ink wash explorations, the concept started to form. Below is my full write up. I am now moving to 3-d form which I give a preview below after the concept. A second journal entry on this project will carry on the progress updates later on.
2-D cardboard sculpture tests
First stone foundation layer “balance” prototype
If I have success with stone, ceramic and wood, much more to come…